Couples Therapy
Do you feel like your relationship is at a standstill? Are you and your partner stuck in the same argument loop every night? Do you feel like you and your partner are drifting away? Do you desire more intimacy between you and your partner?
All things can be improved, changed, and bettered with just a little support, no matter how big or small. With couples therapy, you’ll learn how to communicate your feelings and needs, and get what you want out of your relationship.
In my couple’s therapy sessions, I help people develop the necessary skills needed to maintain sustaining love. I utilize an attachment based approach, called Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to change unhealthy patterns and increase connection.
If any of the above relate to your and your partner in your relationship, contact me today for a free consultation. I would love to speak about how I may be able to help reconnect and rekindle your love for one another.
ABOUT EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED COUPLES THERAPY (EFT)
Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is a type therapy that is used to improve attachment and bonding in adult relationships. This approach to couples therapy was developed by doctors Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg in the 1980s and is rooted in research on love as an attachment bond. This treatment can help couples form a more secure emotional bond, which can result in a stronger relationship and improved communication.
EFT Is Based on Attachment Theory
Attachment between people typically provides a safe haven: a retreat from the world and a way to obtain comfort, security, and a buffer against stress. Attachment also offers a secure base, allowing you to feel safe while you explore the world and learn new information. Its formation begins in childhood with a primary caretaker, such as a parent.
Those early, established patterns carry through to adulthood. An unavailable caretaker creates distress in a baby akin to an unavailable partner creating distress in an adult. Attachment theory provides the emotionally-focused therapist with a road map to the drama of distress, emotions, and needs between partners.
How Insecure Attachment Weakens a Couple's Bond
According to an article on EFT in Social Work Today, any perceived distance or separation in our close relationships is interpreted as danger. Losing the connection to a loved one threatens our sense of security. "Primal fear" ensues and sets off an alarm in part of our brain called the amygdala, also known as the fear center.
Once the amygdala is activated, it triggers our fight or flight response. When incoming information is familiar, the amygdala is calm. However, as soon as the amygdala encounters threatening or unfamiliar information, it increases the brain’s anxiety level and focuses the mind’s attention on the immediate situation.
People go into a self-preservation mode, often doing what they did to "survive" or cope in childhood. This is the reason we are triggered as adults in our romantic relationships, in the same repeating (and unhealthy) patterns from our formative years. EFT can help to unwind these automatic, counter-productive reactions.